The corporate holiday party is a concoction of awkwardness, open bars and the
hypnagogic sensation that comes with seeing your fellow associates in a social scene. Anyone who has not witnessed or experienced this before, it can be a great episode to watch.
Some thoughts that pop into your mind may be: "hold on, that mute person can actually speak — and has dance moves?" and, "I’ve never chatted with this associate ever, and now we are suddenly best buddies". These thoughts are quite the normal.
Take a nice big breathe, we have created a list of the typical associates your likely to see at this year’s corporate holiday party so you can prep yourself. Which one will you be?
1. Big Boss, CEO, President
When the Big Boss enters the room, he can separate the crowed like Zeus separates the ocean. You will notice pausing in conversations as those acknowledge the presence of the big boss. Out of instinct, fear and intimidation some employees will subconsciously hide their beverages and take it the celebration down a notch. The boss can be very intimidating for some, however keep in mind he is a human being too.
2. The Kiss A**
Another classic term for this person is the Brown-Noser. For those of you confused on this term, google it. You can spot this person a mile away, talking to every person at the party as much as possible, almost unnaturally. Instead of treating the occasion as a fun festive relaxed event, they will be treating it as a networking affair attempting to maximize their position to climb the chain of command. This person will always bring up work and be watching everyone’s moves, be wary of these ones.
3. The awkward plus one
You have never seen this person in your life. This person was brought to the party by a single co-worker. They will most likely look like a turtle hiding in the corner sipping a beer or six in their shell. Say hello to them, make them feel welcome and come out of their shell.
4. The intern that has too much fun
The intern, most likely 18-22 has never experienced a corporate open bar before. They are very excited and don’t have much of an alcohol tolerance. Their voice will become loud, their life will turn into an open book with personal stories flowing out and begin dancing like they are in a nightclub . Their behavior will definitely become recognized, sometimes perhaps but not in the best way!
5. The secret romance
These 2 associates think they are the slyest kids on the block. They both arrive to the office through different entrances or 5 minutes apart every day. They will avoid each other at the party, if you look closely you will see a few sly glances from each other.
Hey you two, we know what’s going on! We see you!
6. The Christmas sweater-wearer
This person received this sweater as a Christmas gift from their grandma. It has been sitting in their closet for 10 years and has never found the right time to wear it. They are too busy with work to go shopping so they decide to rock the sweater. He or she embraces the sweater with Rudolf the reindeer on it and is unscathed by the stares.
This attendee comes in just above the rented tuxedo guy
7. The TMI talker
You've probably encountered the co-worker who talks endlessly about matters that are, frankly, TMI. He or she is way too open about their personal life, so you know absolutely everything about his or her romantic escapades, family, pets, landlord and hair stylist. Avoid getting cornered by this particular attendee or risk being forced into a conversation about what his or her cats will be wearing this Christmas, complete with a full-scale slideshow via smartphone.
8. The silenced lamb
This party go-er is usually very professional, quiet and slightly nerdy. After a few bevies they eject out of their shell and start breaking out dance moves in front of the DJ or boombox. You will meet a completely new person that has come out from hiding behind their computer. They turn into the life of the party and it is fantastic!
You know that one coworker who is really quiet and professional, perhaps even a bit nerdy? After they've had a couple cocktails, they're going to burst out of their shell with gusto. You'll see some intense dance moves, hear them spout hilarious jokes and meet a totally new person who’s been hiding behind a desk. They'll be the life of the party, and it'll be awesome.
9. The social media paparazzi
This co-worker is obsessed with Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and pretty much any shareable platform. They document all parts of the party so be aware of these party go-ers as you will most likely end up online! Acquire some ninja moves to dodge some embarrassing social media content.
This party-goer is absolutely addicted to all things shareable. He or she documents every second, so when you get to the party, you will most likely end up on their Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat feeds almost instantaneously. Adopt ninja skills to avoid post-party digital embarrassment.
10. The “IDGF” employee
This co-worker is in the midst of planning a much needed long holiday or is in the process of switching to another company. He or she can be very entertaining with their YOLO attitude towards the party and during the office’s day to day work. This person can be a hoot to watch and once alcohol has been added to the equation the show gets better & better!
This colleague is currently in the middle of planning a long vacation or is heading to another company ASAP. This person can be highly entertaining, though. His or her "DGAF" approach to the party — and to daily office life, for that matter — can be ridiculously amusing to watch. Add alcohol to the situation and it can become even more of a spectacle.
Forget boring corporate holiday parties. Make this year’s an unforgettable one with Platinum Bartenders. We have fun outgoing staff and open bar packages that make planning your bar a whole lot easier.